When people ask me what I do for a living, most commonly I simply say I'm a wedding and portrait photographer. Sometimes that is enough to get the conversation rolling, but sometimes it interests them to know what kind of portraits I do. When I say I photograph boudoir, I often get the same look as Cate Scaglione, who wrote an amazing article on breaking the misconceptions of Boudoir Photography, but probably more so since I am a man doing this kind of photography.
Some are curious, some simply don't understand the reasons behind this amazing a beautiful thing. I pretty much agree with each and every one of these points made by Cate. To read the full article click here!
20 Shattered Misconceptions About Boudoir Photography by Cate Scaglione
- "I am not a model." Great. Because actually, 99.9% of my paying clients aren’t models either. A “model” is someone who is paid to be photographed for a living. No, I much prefer you pay me instead.
- "I don’t look like a model." Well, most models don't look like models. Have you ever seen a “before” picture of many top models? Often times, they're not the same stunning people you see in magazines. Hair, makeup and Photoshop are typically involved in creating that polished editorial look. You have the option to choose to do the same, and you too can look like a model. Or, go with a more natural look.
- "I have no idea how to pose in pictures." Haha, well... neither do I actually. But if I have a an experienced beauty photographer trained to pose me and give me great direction, I would look fantastic in photos. Luckily I am that person for you.
- "I am too overweight to do a boudoir session." Too overweight? …compared to what standard? You’d be surprised to know many well trained boudoir photographers LOVE sessions with curvier women. In fact, many of us prefer it. Why? We know how to light, pose and dress you so you can celebrate those curves and not condemn them. I like to shatter your negative myths and help you create new, positive ones.
- "I am too shy for this. I don’t see myself as sexy." This is an intimate portrait session. By definition it’s about intimacy, privacy and solitude. My job is to make you comfortable so you feel great in your own skin, and to draw you out to the person you know you are within. It’s YOUR version of sexy, not anyone else’s. And, when I do my job right, you will absolutely see yourself as sexy.
- "First I need to lose these last 10 pounds." No, you don't. Because you probably won't. I've had a client expressing vehemently for 3 years now how she wants to do her session as soon as she loses that extra weight. She still hasn't booked it. Celebrate who you are RIGHT NOW. You can do a session today then again and again. It’s actually great fun to see that progress. That is the beauty of milestones… You can celebrate your life every time you decide to.
- "I’m too old to do a boudoir session." Are you too old to feel special? Appreciated?Beautiful? YOU get to choose to embrace who you are throughout life’s many beautiful stages. YOU get to choose how you’re styled in a way that makes sense to you. Sure, you may not be that same girl as you were in your early 20s. Now you're even better...you're a woman. Today's woman is better than yesterday's woman. Let’s go now.
- "I’ll have to wear sexy lingerie for the session." There are no rules that say a boudoir session is about lingerie. It’s about creating your intimate definition of beauty in any way you like. That can be in a sweater… in a negligee…in a ball gown. It’s about intimacy with your sense of self… not your wardrobe.
- "My pictures will end up on the Internet." No. Client privacy is the number one priority for any reputable boudoir photographer. To us, your intimacy is a highly protected entity that we go to great lengths to secure, and share only with your written permission. We love and respect all clients, whether they choose to publish their images or not. We are guardians of your privacy.
- "I can shop around to get great deal for boudoir photography." A woman’s private moments should never feel like “bargains”. The blatant truth here is, you’ll get what you pay for. A boudoir session is a life-changing experience, which typically includes a moderate investment. A professional photographer's trade is very expensive to run; Therefore a highly skilled, reputable boudoir photographer is almost never “cheap” and does not "deep discount". A boudoir photographer who knows their own worth also know what a great client is worth to us. We’ll go to the furthest lengths to earn every penny, with gratitude and a pursuit of excellence.
- "It’s arrogant to hang pictures of myself around the house." Really? Why? Is it arrogant to look in the mirror? To keep a journal? To meditate? Your portraits are no different. They are just an introspective symbol of your feminine self. My job is to help you love that Woman on the wall as much as any other work of art that hangs in your home. What’s selfish about that?
- "My friends and family would not approve of me doing this." Well, that’s fine, because you’re not doing it for them. You’re doing it for YOU. You don’t need anyone else’s approval but your own.
- "I’m too scared to do this alone. I think I need moral support!" That’s perfectly fine. While I prefer to keep sessions confined to me, my client and my hair/makeup artist only, I do allow friends to book sessions together. They often find that it’s a blast (and want to come back alone again!). I’ll warn you though, we do laugh a little too much.
- "I’ll be a nervous wreck the whole time." No, you'll be nervous for 8.5 minutes and that's all. Because if you are nervous after the first 8.5 minutes of your session, I am doing an awful job. Once we get started, I help melt away the tension and you feel your groove. I find that it literally only takes 8.5 minutes, without fail before SHE makes her grand appearance.
- "I’m not photogenic." Well, if I haven’t photographed you before, you are not unphotogenic to ME. This is not bragging… this is my JOB. My single task is to help you look and feel the most beautiful you’ve ever felt. Invariably, clients often cry in disbelief when they see their images, when they see a beautiful woman staring right back at them.
- "I’ll do it because my (husband/boyfriend/partner) will like it." Your (husband/boyfriend/partner) liking the byproduct of our session is surely a bonus. However, this experience is for you and you alone. This is a celebration to reacquaint with your feminine self, in whatever style you choose for it to be. You are more than a book, a framed picture or an album. As a woman, you are a work of art. You deserve to feel that way.
- "Oh my goodness, my photographer is going to see me naked." Yes, while some clients choose to be in a state of undress, that does not have to be the case. You can wear as much as you want or as little as you want. It’s not about your wardrobe but a depiction of your intimacy. Besides, you'd be shocked to know that I'm so busy adjusting my light, composing the shot, working my camera, and posing you, that your state of nudity is virtually the last thing I am noticing. An experienced boudoir photographer is like your doctor. We have seen it all and we don’t notice it.
- "My photographer is going to think my idea is crazy, but…" As artists, we are idea people. We love to hear ideas and to fulfill your wishes. And, if we cannot accommodate them, we can refer you to another photographer who may be able to. Your ideas about beauty and intimacy are yours and not up for our judgment.
- "My (husband/boyfriend/partner) will not like this idea." If your significant other does not appreciate the opportunity for you to feel special, confident and beautiful, that is their unfortunate choice. But you do not have to choose the same fate for yourself. You are your own person, with your own emotional needs. I respect the nature of your relationship but YOU as my client are my only priority and my person of concern.
- "This is a once in a lifetime experience." Yes and no. You can do this once for your bucket list; Or, you can do it year after year, in as many styles or variations as your little ritualistic self would like. It will feel like a once in a lifetime experience every time, that I promise you!"